Articles

Photo by Ryan McGuire There are some words that can dilute a message. Let’s call these wishy-washy words because they weaken vocal emphasis. These phrases and words are: • I think…• I feel…• I believe…• If…• I want you to…• We need to… For example, take these two...

Two hacks to improve communication at work or at homeJust waiting for a bus, or a perfect chance to practice better communication? (photo c/o gratisography) Small talk can have a big impact on a career, a relationship and/or a childhood. A better question can increase...

Photo by Marcos Luiz Photograph on Unsplash It happens a lot. I watch someone, often a woman, absolutely nail a presentation by doing something a bit different from the norm, something that really works for her. Immediately afterward, the speaker is besieged by people...

“I wish I would have known, during the interview, what it took me four weeks to figure out,” Harper exhaled, plopping into a chair in my office. After four weeks of investment in developing a new team member, it had become clear to Harper that they were not right for...

This is the third installment in a series on Irrational Habits, the very human stuff that messes with our desired outcomes. So far, we’ve covered eclipsing outcomes with feelings and crowdsourcing discontent. Let’s talk about another common habit: using broad,...

Meet the second irrational habit in a series about several. There is a low-value, highly draining habit that distracts from what matters most in organizations, even though it may feel helpful (or at worst neutral). It is so common as to seem unremarkable: talking...

Like and dislike don’t matter nearly as much as shared outcomes. Many human-centered organizations develop a habit that diminishes outcomes and contributes to burnout, even though the habit is born from a beautiful intention: treasuring individual perspectives and...

This is the fourth installment in a series on Irrational Habits, the very human stuff that messes with our desired outcomes. So far, we’ve covered eclipsing outcomes with feelings,  crowdsourcing discontent, and the fact that throwaway comments aren't, actually. Let’s...

An Executive Director/President (ED) is the heartbeat of a movement. She channels collective energy, organizes chaos, and manifests strategy, often with little more than duct tape and a bobby pin. She serves to serve and gives for the good of all, taking charge of...

During a panel about women and entrepreneurship, a male investor fawned a bit about how much he prefers women leaders. He said we work harder, smarter, and get more results. He then lamented that the only problem with women is our lack of confidence, that it holds us...

Stop apologizing before you’ve even started Never, ever apologize for your public speaking performance, for not being prepared, or for having to lay the ground rules for the audience. Such hollow apologies turn off audiences. They make you seem insecure and make them...

Tone is everything. Even without saying the actual words, people often call each other names with degrading or disrespectful tones. There is a wide palette of negative tones — sarcastic, passive-aggressive, cold and calculating, ridiculing — and so on. But they all...

Click Bait Cartoon via cartoonsbyJim Am I alone in being exhausted/annoyed by headlines these days? I want to stick a needle in my eye. CRUZ PUNCHES WIFE IN THE FACENo, he didn’t. I don’t like the guy, everyone knows this, yet the dude is awkward and went to hug his...

That stuff you hide from others? Start showing them. People aren’t always committed to listen to what we say if they do not like us. Yet, our job as communicators is not to get everyone to like us. This is impossible, and in fact, could actually make people dislike us...

Be direct, don’t sugarcoat, and make it about what they want, not about you.photo c/o Ryan McGuireHumans can generally handle the truth — and truth- telling is full of nuances. When used inappropriately, truth is a powerful weapon; when wielded with awareness and...

12 types of conversations to avoid this holiday season “I don’t have to attend every argument I am invited to.” —author unknown I read that quote on Twitter the other day and my entire being cheered, “Hallelujah!” The election happened. The holidays are here. The end...

Robert Harbridge on the far right During the holidays I often think about my dad, who formed so much of my thinking as a human. He was a civil rights worker who believed in infiltration and joining the organizations he wanted to change. His methods of reducing “us and...